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The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.9. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.10. I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.11. After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Screw it, soldier on!"12. I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.13. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.14. The other night, my wife asked me how many. "Why don't you go and lock that door and then you'll find out."Billy looked at her for a moment, not moving then he walked over and pushed the lock in and came back to the table.Alex opened her arms. "Come over here honey and help me off the table."Billy stood in front of Alex and she put her arms around his neck and she slid off of the table and stood up. She turned her back to him then looked over her shoulder. "Unzip my dress Billy."Billy, his hands trembling, took a hold of her zipper and slowly pulled it down from her neckline to her waist. As the zipper went farther and farther down the dress spread open and Alex's back and of course her bra strap came into his view."That's fine." She turned around and faced him. "Okay Billy, now take a hold of my shoulder straps and pull them down to the sides."Billy hands were shaking as he reached up and grasp her shoulder straps.Alex smiled at the boy then patted one of his hands. "Its okay honey, you don't have be nervous." I... I don't.
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